He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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