I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
