I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
