i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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