i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So many bounce houses so little time
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
