There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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