She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
