would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
