So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
