It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
