sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
