I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
