You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
