I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
