you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
