we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize