someone threw a dead crab at me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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