I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Bring me that man meat
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
