two words: eviction party
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
as a side note pls kill me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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