just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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