and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
