Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
