Cold hands, warm shart.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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