$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
