YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
