I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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