There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it's like iHOP with fire
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
