Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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