Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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