guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
