I think i peed on brittanys purse
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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