I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
