dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
