so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
