i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
