everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
