I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
