I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
this just has baby written all over it
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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