So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
