worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
