Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
