i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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