I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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