shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize