There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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