My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
