a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
