Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
