So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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