Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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