In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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