He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
