The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Houston, we have a blender
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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