other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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