All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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