you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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