i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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