If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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