there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
