In the future we'll all be gay
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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